St. Matthew Lutheran Church Backstabs Organist

St. Matthew Lutheran Church, LCMS, Houston - 5315 Main St., Houston TX 77004

BACKSTABBED THEIR FAITHFUL ORGANIST OF 15 YEARS
& WRONGFUL TERMINATION





	BLACK EASTER 2010 DEFINITIONS DISCLAIMER


	*A Cautionary Tale for Organists* Never in my music career has it been necessary to protect and defend myself against this type of situation. All of my associations with churches and clergy have been 100% positive and productive with the exception of the last five years at this church. As you read this keep these facts in mind. For a person like myself to abruptly leave a church you must realize that it is no simple ego at play or getting in a twit like a child. No... it is a to-the-core affront that cannot be accepted by my standards of honesty, truth and integrity. It is so egregious that one's internal compass requires immediate physical removal from such persons that would do this to me after all I have done and worked for at this church. To some readers the following may appear to be unseemly and not appropriate for a church musician, however I see no conflict in this because my reputation reflects the qualities of conciliation, amenable to compromise, diplomatic and negotiable and slow to anger in virtually all areas of social and business endeavor. Since 1950 I have been involved with churches of most denominations and have never had an occasion to react beyond the normal course of conversations that take place daily with joint civility and respect. HERE IS WHAT THEY DID...and my response About May, 15 '09 shall we say, a nice old church in the Museum District, St. Matthew Lutheran (hereafter referred to as STM), chose to fire, or rather back stab and blindside (pick your choice) their organist of fifteen years. The organist, yours truly, enjoyed performing on the organ (I was responsible for MANY projects and the organ project. I selected the instrument and configuration that saved them $10s of thousands of dollars) and as a musician of no mean talent and ability, had much to offer this church by way of musical connections in the city, membership in The American Guild of Organists, familiarity with virtually all denominations and their music and quite capable of rendering the great music for the organ and the choral literature. I provided a variety of music as well as the musical presentations of congregational hymns in various creative cathedralesque music-scapes utilizing the resources of the 4 manual 100 rank digital -pipe organ. When I first started this job at STM (about 1995) the resident Pastor was open to all of the musical innovations and we had some of the top flight musicians appearing in church services and in the special Christmas and Easter seasons. In addition not only did we pursue musical excellence but also had many wedding services which along with the organ, the church, the stained glass and the elegance of this Pastor’s weddings, drew many couples to STM for “their” church. Over about ten years we had approximately 34,000 persons come through the door of STM just because of weddings. The byproduct of this was the funding of much of the music budget…especially hired professionals...and the organist had a few more dollars to do volunteer work such as marketing and creation of websites and wedding documents etc...all free of course, which would have cost thousands on the open market. My first mistake! I should have charged for marketing services. The church and relations with its music staff (the organist) began a troubled history beginning approximately 10 years after I took the job of organist. This corresponds to the arrival of a new pastor (hereafter referred to as P). The new P, to make a long story somewhat shorter, began to express odd attitudes and thinking that did not exactly fit the musical directions and functions in place at STM. This person was a mid- life transition to the clergy from some industrial job. One who goes through the process of formal Seminary/University education is usually conversant with music, musicians, large churches, organists, concert activities, hymnology and the great heritage of the Judeo-Christian musical structure, performance standards and some business acumen. The congregation voted him in without taking the time to interview a wide range of possible pastors as most churches would do and which is a normal process that may take a year or more. But that was their choice. The root of the problems which ultimately became the bones of contention in all of this centers around leadership and the congregational attitudes. Keep in mind that a church venue in the Museum District would be expected to be utilized to the maximum through weddings, concerts, events and church marketing. Apparently the church does not want to indulge in the “Big Church Venue” promotion which requires oodles of personality, congeniality, time and drive with ambition to create a "Metro" style church. Eventually the church probably sees itself as a parish church rather than the Metro model. This position is probably easier and certainly eliminates the large church profile and all that goes with it. Of course this further puts an additional downward pressure in reference to weddings, revenue streams, concerts et al. The P wanted the membership to fund everything and "dig deep" in their pockets. He didn't want to take his time on the weekends doing weddings...and he feels that "it stresses the building". His choice but not mine...no more weddings to speak of, one or two per year average. (FACT) My second mistake! I should have resigned then. After a while I talked myself into just playing the services and not fighting for weddings, concerts, events, recitals. This period ran from about 2004 until the present date of 2010. During that time various strange situations ebbed and flowed, some parishioners left (as it is softly mentioned) because of the “pastor” (This is FACT). There were several families that left and joined other churches and took their substantial contributions with them. (What did they see that I did not?). Well, be that as it may, I went onward blithely playing the services and sensing the futility of it all. Finally in December 09, the personnel committee wrote a letter to me (FACT) which any organist would love to have. It had all the good things and laid the foundation of a form of collegiality that might allow some degree of satisfaction with the miserable state of the music program funding and the esprit de corps of the organist just might have an up tick. Read this letter carefully it contains promises and covenants! Then there was a trial situation to attempt to form a choir and a student was hired on a part time basis to “direct” the choir. The choir was formed with various age groups and various "abilities" if you will. This person knew little about choral conducting and even less about organs and organists or various uses of organ and other instruments. So, we went back to singing hymns and simple little songs. One knows that unless you are going to start a praise band and jump into ChristianContemp, you definitely need a choral director with some experience. Later on, actions, emails etc prove almost to a certainty that several musicians started doing “things” that the organist should do and seemed to be involved “behind the scenes” in undoing my position in collusion with others? Easy guess huh? Then, out of the dark comes the back stab! Now keep in mind before I relate this odious act, that any church, pastor or personnel board in my experience, would have communicated with the organist should there have been issues that were dire enough to warrant this next travesty of justice. So in this creepy situation, it seems that decisions were made behind the scenes by individuals and the worship committee and others as well, to effectively set up a situation either by chance or on purpose, a “sting” for all practical purposes. Now would you believe this if you saw it unfold in a situation portrayed in a TV drama such as The World Turns? It would seem reasonable in that context....but in a church? Such children and their games! Onto the stage in Act I, comes the Letter: On December 09 as I mentioned the personnel committee wrote this letter to me. Then almost to the day, 90 days after this letter, the President of the congregation on cue, enters stage left: coming up to the organ loft he let it be known that (Get This!) A. I will be retiring. B. That I will stay for about 90-120 days in order to locate another organist for the church! C. There will be an event celebrating my years of service. D. There will be an honorarium of a significant amount. E. Then I will be an Emeritus organist and would return from time to time for special engagements etc. Well, that takes the cake…I have been ordered to do these items with no prior explanation and I was expected to jump to it like a trained puppy…NOT ON YOUR BEST DAY WILL THAT HAPPEN, Mr. President! Now, keep in mind that they had just written the letter above and 90 days later they deliver this information exactly TWO WEEKS AFTER EASTER AND THE CHRISTMAS SEASON! At that point the letter is a lie! Correct? Or am I wrong? They have broken their promises! FACT. Why would a church do this? Could it be that it was discovered that I had just robbed a bank? No! That I was a covert terrorist? No! That I was on the 10 most wanted list by the FBI? NO! That somehow I had looted the collection plates and had sold the pews and was just about to rent the church for a midnight rock concert using the organ in the style of Emerson, Lake and Palmer of British fame, and fully intended to use daggers to wedge between the keys! No, none of these and nothing else for that matter was ever mentioned! It is laughable to the extreme. Well, sorry to say, I was certainly saddened that there were no charges against me …not even for playing too loud sometimes! No, it was probably because ultimately the church in general and the august committees appear not to have the class and courage to come to me in person or even basic etiquette to write a letter requesting a discussion. They chose to do this behind the scenes in the creepy manner that people do when they know they are doing something wrong and just don’t have the guts to be upfront. A Black Easter it seems, if there ever was one ..."surely this man (organist) hath done nothing to deserve this…I find no fault in him” said Pilate. (Sounds familiar??? Wonder where that comes from? hmmm, ...Oh, the Bible! I forgot. Silly me. I thought Christian ethics was something important to be expressed by a church! I suppose it isn't!…that's good to know. There were any number of appropriate actions they could have taken: 1. They could have requested a meeting with the personnel committee that wrote the letter to discuss what issues were pending and invite the organist to attend and work out things. 2. They could have negotiated salary (lack of money is a problem at this church) 3. They could have up front, told me that they no longer needed a high quality musician (as one person characterized some time ago as), “we don’t need a Mozart, just some one who can play ok”. 4. They could have told me that they were going to flip over to Christian Contemp, band and all. That would have been ok with me. Just give me the party and the honorarium and I’ll be on my way, skip the Emeritus and good luck! In thinking about it, I am sure dear reader that you could come up with a thousand things they could have done other that what they did. But this is not all! There is more to the seamy side of this I think. Here is a clandestine component that reeks of underhanded tricks. Read for yourself and see if you think it is an underhanded trick. I do, but I could be wrong?... The best way to sum this up is via bullet points in chronological order: • Letter of commendation December, 2009 from the personnel board which was dipped in "blood" after the backstab! • Quietly allowed me to play Christmas 09 and Easter 10, so they would have great music, THEN the backstab! Wow! what!..a great church! • President of the congregation gives me the news two weeks after Easter and tells me what I will do in this case: Retire in 90-120 days, Find an Organist, Have an event, Get an Honorarium, Emeritus status thereafter. What a choice and how nice to hear from them. Trust them? Respect? Really! Was it a BLACK EASTER 2010? I think so. I think anyone would call it that. Now this is my response to this backstab and blindside attack on me. • Two days later I promptly removed my music and all personal effects from the church. • Cleared the organ console of all registrations for the new organist. • Removed my organ mirror and left the church. My first non-mistake! The church responded in this manner which is the creepiest response I have ever heard or seen outside of a horror flick: First Creepy Thing -The president called and said, “all settings had been removed form the organ”. I told him, "well yes! duh…this is the procedure and any competent organist can set their own". In addition, all of my settings were hard won after years of performance and familiarity with the organ in general and specifically this organ. These settings are considered as intellectual property just the same as my organ mirror is my property or any composed music or arrangements. Apparently something the church, leadership and the committees don't understand. Next Creepy Thing -The church secretary wrote an email saying that I had taken (I hear stolen) the mirror and they wanted it back because they thought they had purchased it. I responded: “You never purchased one of KeyArts mirrors because I was the organist and simply brought one of my mirrors for use.” She called again wanting to know “if they could buy one from me and what is the price”. I responded: “I will in all probability not have any time in the future to build one for you.” No respect for me. See: KeyArts Organ Mirrors Next Creepy Thing (Now here is just a bit of humour...'bout time huh?) -The pastor wrote an email proclaiming with officiousness that: “...I have been disrespectful in attempting to interrupt their worship service”, and “as a result there will be no event or honorarium”. (FACT) (Laying a finger to the side of my nose), What!, I exclaimed. No party?!, No honorarium?, I continued, " All because you backstabbed me? and blindsided me?" I whimpered as I threw up the sash and shouted, cried no less, " Well pardon me for living! I will just roll over, grovel and jump through hoops".... just for you Mr. N. Bonaparte! Next Creepy Situation I responded to the nutty comments to the effect that, "the shoe is on the other foot". And that the Church and the pastor are the very ones that have shown immense disrespect to their organist of 15 years and I said, "don’t you dare tell me that I have shown disrespect in reacting to a backstabbing and a blindsided attack that you have perpetrated. Furthermore this whole situation has been brought on by your lack of knowledge and ability to communicate and function with musicians and is a disgrace to this church. The P further said that, “they were working to preserve my reputation etc”. Really?! I told him in no uncertain terms that I have nothing else to say to any of you and that, “in my opinion, it is your reputation that is in question…not mine. I have my Honour ”. (FACTS - emails) Another Creepy Situation Additionally, it appears that some knowingly or unknowingly (it doesn’t matter if they know or don't know!) set up a situation for me that would cause me to pull the trigger on rejecting their ORDERS and I would leave post-haste, so that they could all call it disrespect and therefore cancel the honorarium and the event and be righteous about it. To which I say: That is ok with me if true! I am happy to have found out the mettle of leadership at St. Matthew in any case. I am very happy to find this out, before I spent more time at this church. Almost the Creepiest Situation Possible Here is the worst: Could anyone do it any better in orchestrating my undoing, behind closed doors with no communication what-so-ever. Then they had the out and out gall to suggest that I hang around for three to six months, twisting in the wind and suffering the torture of a thousand cuts! ( FACT). This would have been mentally destabilizing for me and a continuing upset every time I set foot in the building, played the organ or even thought about it. Such were the insidious and thoughtless actions that were perpetrated on this innocent organist. Shame on all of them…each and everyone involved will rue the day because of things they have done and have left undone in this Black Easter scandal. There is an element of age discrimination that I detect here also! I am giving this some thought. Now dear reader, once again I suggest that anyone that would consider this church as a place to be, should be carefully considering it in the light of these actions. Of course that is up to the individual. Keep in mind that I have considerable documentation of the last c. 5 years at this church dealing with this. None of these encounters was very enjoyable. My next comment is the regret that I did not act on my intuition when the new pastor first arrived. Had I to do it all over again, I would have resigned two weeks after he arrived. From that time on it was technically a waste of my time. I had two large church positions available and my third mistake was to stay at St. Matthew Lutheran instead, thinking it would work out. A waste…a Total Waste of time. Caveat Emptor...always! My wife Kathy saw all this coming years ahead and asked me to look elsewhere. She knows about these things. Ultimately you must realize that I personally or musically did nothing wrong. So much so not wrong that they wrote this letter to me in 2009! After this, nothing was ever said to me by anyone implying that there was anything out of the ordinary going on. After all, they had taken the time to sign, affirm and attach their names to the document! Laughable! To this day not one of the members or any committee has called me or thanked me for my service to this church. Nor have they inquired regarding my health or situation. What an absolute travesty of justice, manners and Christian ethics that has been exhibited here….so much so that in my last email to the P, I requested that if he ever wrote to me again, please, please leave out the closing, In Christ’s Peace, that he is wont to use…it rings hollow from the belfry! Better that he write it to himself...not me! Now, being somewhat old fashioned, I tend to respect those who present honesty, courage, faithfulness, transparency and who exhibit the Christian spirit. Below is a space that is provided for any of the church member(s) or spokesmen to respond to this testimony. As you can see, there is nothing written below. That should speak volumes to any one...even the least of humanity would see through it! Should an organist seek this position? This is their decision. If they are a professional musician, there will be a cloud over the organist position and the church, so much so that they will be wary. On the other hand if an amateur musician comes to the organ bench, they will not have earned the post. This instrument deserves a degreed, experienced organist, not an amateur! Once a church has committed an injustice of this magnitude involving a professional musician it will never be removed from history. Integrity comes first. Organists with integrity will want to know the details of this scandal for their own sense of self preservation. Final thoughts: St. Matthew has a large old building and it's nice but in decline. When I arrived on the scene in '95, I thought that was cool...big 'ole building, and an organ (later to be a BIG organ) to play with. This church is LCMS, which by definition would eliminate the Metro church model...one might just make some money with weddings and concerts. There is the old joke about the drugstore cowboy and his big hat and no cows...well it probably applies here. Take the big building away and the organ and you will have a little neighborhood church of about 200 or so people. Personally, I think I dreamed too big for them. It will always be better to go where the cows and the big hat are already there. Then you won't have to effort and waste your time putting that square peg in the round hole. Had I known this in '95, we would never have talked and they would still be in that building with the old two manual organ wheezing away just like they were in the '50s.....but I suppose I gave them a thrill or two anyway! There were some good folks there that supported me....you know who you are and I thank you. Pearls of Wisdom are won at great cost and effort. Anyone wishing to know more information about this may Email or call 281-488-2055. Your communications will be treated as confidential and personal and will not be published. _______________________________ After I left this church, I have never felt this good in the past five years. The graciousness of the many churches that I have played for over the last 15 years are the best. The calls for my talents and ability come daily for substitute engagements and other musical activities and attests to the fine clergy, churches and musicians that seek me out. I can't say that about St. Matthew. This last five years appears to me as an aberration in this church's history, and somewhere down the way integrity may be regained. It was unfortunate that I wasted so much time in attempting to put a square peg into a round hole, yet my musical abilities were sharpened over the period as they would have been elsewhere in any case. I hope that all who read this will regard this document as a Cautionary Tale for musicians of the future to side-step being dragged down into a morass. Look closely before committing and investing time in a church position. I was fortunate to have many interests and support external to this church from the musical world, family and my business KeyArts Houston as well as The American Guild of Organists and the many substitute calls from churches in Houston and surrounds. THE RETROSPECTIVE CONCLUSION All jobs and churches end at some point. There is a short sentence that sums up the general condition: Good times, Bad times and All times get over. With that said I can continue and say that the chances are that the effort in writing this article is probably not worth the time...there are more interesting things to do. If you take away the old buildings, the new organ and transplant this church into a suburban area with a nice little church and grounds, I would never have been attracted at all. It is only because I have a penchant and predilection for classic churches, great organ music and the majesty of high ceilings and stained glass that I was even slightly interested in St. Matthew in 1995. I suppose I have too much of a romantic and business outlook for this church to accommodate. The picture is very plain...STM sits there doing nickel and dime things while all of the churches in the Museum District are on it!...with weddings, concerts, cash flow, wedding fees and great music. If the congregation had not supported the new organ, I would have been gone to greener pastures years ago, same as Garrett DeLacerda did. This is typical of good organists. I will admit I stayed longer because I projected my vision onto a rather conservative denomination that just did not have the vision to match...especially from 2004 on. The final unwinding of this period is found in the frayed ends of both parties. I am looking at sparkle, action, fire and cash flow for music and making the best possible outcomes in performance and programming while St. Matthew is looking at saving one soul at a time in an area and venue that could be really great in the hands of someone with vision. However that is for another time and I suspect for other people probably not yet born. That is a shame...to have to wait for another generation to build something that could have been built in this generation. "Time has let me play and be Golden in the mercy of his means"...but now somewhere else. However, the actions of this church are still a reality and could have happened to YOU or anyone. While this particular instance of conflict is a small affair for me, none-the-less it reflects badly on Christian churches in general, and is troubling to church musicians. It is also the case that this type of treatment of a principal musician is rare in the church world. Since there are no charges against me that would normally provide reasons for termination, and that the church refuses to give any reasons for this, I can only assume that it is an aberration in actions and judgement. I have given this church the most treasured gift that any organist can give...15 years of my time! Time is the only thing that is limited and the gift of it deserves recognition. I hope this article will provide empowerment for any church musician that has been wronged, and to embolden their fight for their rights and appropriate treatment. If this effort appears to any reader to be an "over the top" response, then I apologize for my once in a career rant! I can assure you that it will never happen again. Once more, I thank the many churches in the Houston area over the last five years for engaging me as their substitute, wedding organist, accompanist et al. These engagements provided relief and fresh air during this period. The dust of St. Matthew has been shaken from my organ shoes (figurative and literal) and I welcome any church to call for my services. Best Regards, C. Anthony Pessarra April 22, 2010 More about: Anthony Pessarra , organist ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ HERE IS THE IRONY OF IT ALL All of this drama and toil could have been avoided if the church had followed proper procedure to advise their organist as to their legitimate intentions, plans for the future regarding the organist position and by keeping their word. They should have cleared the air of any back room deals and plans that their organist of 15 years was not privy to. If this had been conducted in a conciliatory and professional manner there would have been cohesiveness and all would have been on their way to a better understanding and outcome. Unfortunately this whole process has been done in a rude, rough and unpolished manner with a similar outcome and has caused in me, a well founded permanent ill will toward this church and the principal parties involved. These feelings and actions did not originate with me...they were created by virtue of the disrespect and the disposition of edicts in the style of *L Áncien Régime,* which no self-respecting, qualified organist or musician would tolerate for the smallest moment. However, I will be an *ambassadeur extraordinaire et plénipotentiaire* in disseminating my displeasure to the music community et al. St. Matthew has tarnished my reputation and time spent at this church causing me for the first time in my history, if it were possible, to take the years back.... and place them elswhere! _____ This Space is for a response from the church. Its spokesman or any member thereof is welcome. If there is none, I fully understand if you do not attempt to support your actions in a public forum. If you do respond we will print it all, for all to see and judge for themselves in the light of day. This invitation issued on April, 2010 ?